Interesting Thought

I know it is only the middle of January, but it feels like spring outside. This weather has got me craving Girl Scout cookies, peeps, and green beer. This got me thinking about how strange it really is that I associate certain foods and drinks with the different seasons, although I guess I could have some of these treats year round. I decided to make a quick list of what I associate with the seasons.

Winter: Home made cookies, soups, ciders, smores, eggnog, cheese and cracker spreads, begals, pumpkin pies

Spring: Girl Scout cookies (Thin Mints and Samoas in particular), peeps, Cadbury eggs, green beer, Irish Car Bombs, Mexican beers

Summer: Cook-outs (hotdogs & hamburgers), kabobs, BBQ Chicken, Sam Adams beer, ice cream, watermelon

Fall: More candies than usual (I guess the Halloween connection), carmel apples, funnel cakes
Of course this list could be more in-depth and I could have added more foods as well as activities I associate with the seasons.

Crazdar

So as my friend Betty once told me, “Matt you have Crazdar when it comes to women.” This statement has proven to be true time and time again. I bring this up because I am once again caught in a situation where my looks (?) and/or charm (?) have attracted a crazy girl. This one could be the topper of all and I fear she may actually try to hurt me within the next few days. If she does, I loved my life, this year I could have done without, but we all need to bad years to remind us how good the good years really are.

Anyways, so the story on the new crazy girl: I have talked to this girl six times in my entire life. She is 21, and the long time girlfriend of a good friends roommate. That’s right, she has had the same boyfriend for about a year and a half. Anyways, the boyfriend isn’t the coolest guy in the world, but he is a nice guy. Anytime he would come out, he usually brought his girlfriend. She has come out about six times to bars and the like when he has come out. So this past Wednesday, after trivia, she decides to e-mail me. She tells me how I make her blush and how she is a wuss. Of course this e-mail caught me completely off guard considering I said two words to her all night. If anything, I was trying some game on these sorority girls who came out to trivia. (FYI, they were hella cool.) So I decided to tell my friend about the e-mail and he decided it was best to just leave the thing to die. However, on Christmas, she writes me another e-mail telling me stuff like every good thing deserves a second chance. This scared me royally because as far as I know, there was never a first chance. I saved the e-mails, printed them and gave them to my friend to give to his roommate. At this point, we have decided he needs to know what his girlfriend is doing. I am just hoping that I don’t get a knife stuck in my back, or a bullet in my chest when the roommate confronts her tomorrow.
So now I fear that a girl I have never even remotely tried to date or hook up with will kill me. Crazdar…

Sunday, I call it Funday

I had a very eventful Sunday yesterday. I began the day bright and early at 7:30 AM when I met Jim Martin at St. John’s Baptist Church. Jim Martin is currently a democratic candidate for Lt. Governor of the state of Georgia. He came to Gainesville in order to court voters and sure up support in Hall County. I was essentially his driver for the day, which as previously mentioned, started at 7:30 am. We attended service at St. John’s and I took communion for the first time in about eleven years. The church encouraged all visitors and guests to join members in communion, so I did. After the St. John’s service, we went to St. Paul’s Methodist Church for service at 11:00 AM. So needless to say, I got my fair share of God in for the day. The irony came when I took communion again at St. Paul’s. When I was taking it I almost laughed at the thought of me not only going to two church services in one day, but also taking communion twice. See, I am not very religious and I don’t really believe in the dogmas pushed by organized religion. However, I know the importance of worship in order to gain votes, so I didn’t want to hurt any of Jim’s chances.

After the two church services, we grabbed a quick lunch at Burger King and then went onto the Hall County Democratic meeting for December. It was a rather poor showing, but Jim seemed to make a good impression on the five people who were there. Then the chaotic day continued to a fundraiser thrown in honor of Jim. The fundraiser was held at this former plantation home built in the 1800’s. It was an amazing house owned by two attorneys. Anyways, the event went off without a hitch and I got to drink wine with the upper crest of Gainesville Democrats. (One day I should do an interesting post on the differences between the active Democratic members who attend meetings and the ones who strictly give their financial backing to the party.) So the event ended at 5:30 PM, allowing me to go home and change.

See, I had concert tickets to see O.A.R. and the Violent Femmes at the Tabernacle in Atlanta at 7:00 PM. I was supposed to go with my friend Anna, yet she was flying in from a wedding in Vermont. Her flight got cancelled and I couldn’t find anyone to fill in on such short notice. Most people said they would have gone had the weather not been as bad as it was. Lame… So I went to the concert by myself anyways. While driving down to the show I stopped to buy some Sparks to drink before the show. However, it was Sunday and the Georgia Blue Laws prevented me from buying any alcohol from stores. This got me thinking about how archaic Blue Laws really are. See in Georgia, you can buy alcohol at any event or restaurant on Sundays, yet you can’t buy cases of it at a store. Blue Laws were originally designed to prevent people from getting drunk on the Lords day, yet people can still go get drunk at a restaurant. To me it just seems like a dumb law that’s time has come and gone.

All right, back on course from that digression. I went to the concert, which rocked. I forgot how great of a show O.A.R. puts on. They played all their big hits from their new album, as well as, their hits from older albums. They covered U2’s Bloody Sunday and closed the encore with a 25 minutes version of Crazy Game of Poker. It was unbelievable and I enjoyed every second of the show. I also got drunk, so the Blue Laws really didn’t serve their purpose… and I meet a girl I gave my number to… and I saw a guy from high school named Howie… and Violent Femmes played Blister in the Sun… and that’s about it…

Oh yeah, and how could I forget, I love you Myria!

Realizations

So here is two realizations I have had as of late:

1. Anybody that tells you they love you is lying; and,

2. This is going to be the first New Years Eve since 1999 that I have not had someone to kiss at midnight....

sigh...

Happy B-Lated Thanksgiving

So another Thanksgiving has come and gone. Hard to believe... In the past when I blogged I would write an entry listing the top ten things I am thankful for. This year I chose not follow this writing tradition because the only things I could come up with were family, friends, and health. Don’t get me wrong, I am eternally thankful for all three but it doesn’t make for a good read. So that entry was never written. Instead, I have decided to just give a brief rundown of my Thanksgiving Weekend.

Wednesday: Partook in the biggest bar night of the year with my friends from out of town who traditionally return to Gainesville for the day. It was hella fun and it always amazes me when the bars in Gainesville are packed like a real city. I saw a lot of people I went to High School with, most of whom have gained weight. On that note, lots of this people told me that I look amazing with the amount of weight I have lost. After leaving the bars at last call, we returned to my home and drank some more. I drank half a bottle of SoCo by myself, which I would later regret.

Thursday: I spent the morning fighting a hell of a hangover. I ended up getting lectured from my Mom after I vomited in the bathroom. Luckily by dinner time the hangover was gone and I got to enjoy the traditional Thanksgiving meal. After the meal, my friends from out of town came back to my house and we played trivial pursuit. Good times.

Friday: Played football and I got to see how out of shape everyone was. I was in the best shape of my old friends, which really didn’t say much. It was fun to burn some people I have never been able to outrun before. I got tackled a few times with one hurt my lower back. All and all it was a fun time.

Saturday: The highlight of this day was getting to spend sometime with my favorite Jewish American Princess for half of the Georgia vs. Georgia Tech game. It was really nice to see Betty, with the only regret being that we didn’t get to go drink at a bar. Anyways, Georgia won, which is always upsetting.

So that was my week/weekend. A lot of the three things I was thankful for: Family, Friends, and Health (?).

Till Next Time, Rock On Kiddies!

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I went to Knoxville this weekend in order to have some Tennessee Bar papers filled out by the law school and to attend the UT/Vandy Game. As you may already know by now, Tennessee lost the game. The weekend was full of life lessons, some of which I will share with you:

1. Having good friends is great thing. I enjoyed the hospitality of Joe and Addie. They are really good friends who would go to bat for me no matter what. They really live by the Spanish saying of “Mi Casa, Su Casa.” So I am very thankful that I know them.
2. Being used is never a great thing. So I thought I would give Holly a call while in Knoxville, possibly hang out with her. She informed me that she was just to busy to see me and that maybe she would have more time the next time I come. This was in complete role reversal from everything she typed to me online. Then it became abundantly clear that she had just been using me to hurt her ex-boyfriend Cory. Now that she was done with me, she has moved onto another guy. I guess I will never understand women because they are all so crazy. Which leads me to my next life lesson:
3. Never trust a girl. They are all crazy psycho bitches. Plain and simple. They don’t care about you and you shouldn’t care about them.
4. Listen to God. Vandy beat UT and I have no one to blame but myself. God said get the low tops, I got the high tops. I should have listened to him.
5. “Do good things and good things will happen to you. It’s called Karma!” Just like in My Name is Earl, this proved to be true. I went Jimmy Johns on the strip at about 2 AM. While inside, I discovered that you could buy just a loaf of bread for 49 cents. What a deal, right? So I bought a loaf and ate it as we walked to Cool Beans. I had half a loaf left and the bouncer at the door said “Man that bread smells so good.” I replied “I am done with it, here you can have the rest.” Then we entered and got some pitchers. About thirty minutes later, the bouncer found me and got shots of Jose on the house for the entire group I was with just because I was nice enough to give him a half eaten loaf of bread.
6. Disappointing, Underachieving, Depressing, and Unable to Score. The theme of my life, and coincidently, the theme of Tennessee Volunteers football team this year.

That’s it for now. Till next time, Rock On Kiddies!

God Didn't Make No Fool!

I know this is going to be hard to believe, but God spoke to me last night in a dream. Now I am not protesting or claiming to be a prophet or anything like that, but we had a pleasant conversation that went a little something like this:

Matt: Sup God.
God: Not much Matt, sup with you?
Matt: Nothing really. Just having a pretty sweet dream where I have sex with two girls.
God: That one again?
Matt: Yeah, I shoulda figured you would know.
God: Shoulda, woulda , coulda don’t count for anything. Besides don’t you think it is time to get a real girlfriend?
Matt: I know, but I just don’t have time. Remember I didn’t pass the bar. (cough cough)
God: There was a point to that, but I can’t tell you what just yet.
Matt: Always a point… So if this isn’t about the bar God, why the interruption? Because at this point the two girls have probably left and I won’t be able to get back to that point in the dream.
God: Of course there is. I have an important task for you.
Matt: For me?!? Please, go on…
God: Well as you know, UT isn’t having a great football year. I am a little depressed with the way the Volunteers have played.
Matt: Join the club, but at least we got rid of Randy Sanders.
God: About time Phil did something right. I have been sending him signs for years to dump him.
Matt: Please, can we focus you have something for me to do.
God: Oh sorry.
Matt: Not a big deal, you are God remember.
God: NO, I FORGOT!
Matt: I am surprised by the sarcastic humor…
God: Look at the world, why are you shocked by it? Anyways, back on point. I have some bad news, the Vols may loss to Vandy this weekend?
Matt: Really! Why? I am going to the game! That sucks…
God: I know, but there is some good news.
Matt: What you just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico?
God: (un-amused stare) That was funny the first time Chad Johnson said it. And believe me Matt, I know Chad Johnson and you sir are no Chad Johnson.
Matt: Okay, sorry God.
God: Okay, you mission is to go out and buy an orange pair of low cut Chuck Taylor’s to wear to the game. Only then will the Vols have enough strength and spirit to win on Saturday.
Matt: You’re kidding right?
God: Nope serious as a heart attack. And if you don’t get those shoes, you may have one before the age of 30.
Matt: Got it, okay, so where do I go to get them.
God: I can’t tell you, but if you care about UT you will find a pair.

Then the dream was over, I awoke. So now I am on a mission, a Holy Crusade if you will to find a pair of men’s size 11 ½ orange low cut Chuck Taylor’s for Saturday. I need help, so if anyone can direct me where to find a pair, please e-mail me.

UPDATE: At 4:50 PM I went to the Mall of Georgia to look for the shoes. I went to DSW, FootLocker, and Hot Topic searching for the shoes. None had them. However, Hot Topic told me to try a store called Journey. So I headed down the mall to Journey. Inside the store, the sales associate told me that they had one pair of Orange All-Stars. They are the high tops, and were 50% off. So I got them and now UT will hopefully win.