Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I went to Knoxville this weekend in order to have some Tennessee Bar papers filled out by the law school and to attend the UT/Vandy Game. As you may already know by now, Tennessee lost the game. The weekend was full of life lessons, some of which I will share with you:

1. Having good friends is great thing. I enjoyed the hospitality of Joe and Addie. They are really good friends who would go to bat for me no matter what. They really live by the Spanish saying of “Mi Casa, Su Casa.” So I am very thankful that I know them.
2. Being used is never a great thing. So I thought I would give Holly a call while in Knoxville, possibly hang out with her. She informed me that she was just to busy to see me and that maybe she would have more time the next time I come. This was in complete role reversal from everything she typed to me online. Then it became abundantly clear that she had just been using me to hurt her ex-boyfriend Cory. Now that she was done with me, she has moved onto another guy. I guess I will never understand women because they are all so crazy. Which leads me to my next life lesson:
3. Never trust a girl. They are all crazy psycho bitches. Plain and simple. They don’t care about you and you shouldn’t care about them.
4. Listen to God. Vandy beat UT and I have no one to blame but myself. God said get the low tops, I got the high tops. I should have listened to him.
5. “Do good things and good things will happen to you. It’s called Karma!” Just like in My Name is Earl, this proved to be true. I went Jimmy Johns on the strip at about 2 AM. While inside, I discovered that you could buy just a loaf of bread for 49 cents. What a deal, right? So I bought a loaf and ate it as we walked to Cool Beans. I had half a loaf left and the bouncer at the door said “Man that bread smells so good.” I replied “I am done with it, here you can have the rest.” Then we entered and got some pitchers. About thirty minutes later, the bouncer found me and got shots of Jose on the house for the entire group I was with just because I was nice enough to give him a half eaten loaf of bread.
6. Disappointing, Underachieving, Depressing, and Unable to Score. The theme of my life, and coincidently, the theme of Tennessee Volunteers football team this year.

That’s it for now. Till next time, Rock On Kiddies!