The Ramblings of a Lunatic

Interesting Thought

2006-01-11T13:07:00.000-08:00

I know it is only the middle of January, but it feels like spring outside. This weather has got me craving Girl Scout cookies, peeps, and green beer. This got me thinking about how strange it really is that I associate certain foods and drinks with the different seasons, although I guess I could have some of these treats year round. I decided to make a quick list of what I associate with the seasons.

Winter: Home made cookies, soups, ciders, smores, eggnog, cheese and cracker spreads, begals, pumpkin pies

Spring: Girl Scout cookies (Thin Mints and Samoas in particular), peeps, Cadbury eggs, green beer, Irish Car Bombs, Mexican beers

Summer: Cook-outs (hotdogs & hamburgers), kabobs, BBQ Chicken, Sam Adams beer, ice cream, watermelon

Fall: More candies than usual (I guess the Halloween connection), carmel apples, funnel cakes
Of course this list could be more in-depth and I could have added more foods as well as activities I associate with the seasons.

Crazdar

2005-12-25T20:10:00.000-08:00

So as my friend Betty once told me, “Matt you have Crazdar when it comes to women.” This statement has proven to be true time and time again. I bring this up because I am once again caught in a situation where my looks (?) and/or charm (?) have attracted a crazy girl. This one could be the topper of all and I fear she may actually try to hurt me within the next few days. If she does, I loved my life, this year I could have done without, but we all need to bad years to remind us how good the good years really are.

Anyways, so the story on the new crazy girl: I have talked to this girl six times in my entire life. She is 21, and the long time girlfriend of a good friends roommate. That’s right, she has had the same boyfriend for about a year and a half. Anyways, the boyfriend isn’t the coolest guy in the world, but he is a nice guy. Anytime he would come out, he usually brought his girlfriend. She has come out about six times to bars and the like when he has come out. So this past Wednesday, after trivia, she decides to e-mail me. She tells me how I make her blush and how she is a wuss. Of course this e-mail caught me completely off guard considering I said two words to her all night. If anything, I was trying some game on these sorority girls who came out to trivia. (FYI, they were hella cool.) So I decided to tell my friend about the e-mail and he decided it was best to just leave the thing to die. However, on Christmas, she writes me another e-mail telling me stuff like every good thing deserves a second chance. This scared me royally because as far as I know, there was never a first chance. I saved the e-mails, printed them and gave them to my friend to give to his roommate. At this point, we have decided he needs to know what his girlfriend is doing. I am just hoping that I don’t get a knife stuck in my back, or a bullet in my chest when the roommate confronts her tomorrow.
So now I fear that a girl I have never even remotely tried to date or hook up with will kill me. Crazdar…

Sunday, I call it Funday

2005-12-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

I had a very eventful Sunday yesterday. I began the day bright and early at 7:30 AM when I met Jim Martin at St. John’s Baptist Church. Jim Martin is currently a democratic candidate for Lt. Governor of the state of Georgia. He came to Gainesville in order to court voters and sure up support in Hall County. I was essentially his driver for the day, which as previously mentioned, started at 7:30 am. We attended service at St. John’s and I took communion for the first time in about eleven years. The church encouraged all visitors and guests to join members in communion, so I did. After the St. John’s service, we went to St. Paul’s Methodist Church for service at 11:00 AM. So needless to say, I got my fair share of God in for the day. The irony came when I took communion again at St. Paul’s. When I was taking it I almost laughed at the thought of me not only going to two church services in one day, but also taking communion twice. See, I am not very religious and I don’t really believe in the dogmas pushed by organized religion. However, I know the importance of worship in order to gain votes, so I didn’t want to hurt any of Jim’s chances.

After the two church services, we grabbed a quick lunch at Burger King and then went onto the Hall County Democratic meeting for December. It was a rather poor showing, but Jim seemed to make a good impression on the five people who were there. Then the chaotic day continued to a fundraiser thrown in honor of Jim. The fundraiser was held at this former plantation home built in the 1800’s. It was an amazing house owned by two attorneys. Anyways, the event went off without a hitch and I got to drink wine with the upper crest of Gainesville Democrats. (One day I should do an interesting post on the differences between the active Democratic members who attend meetings and the ones who strictly give their financial backing to the party.) So the event ended at 5:30 PM, allowing me to go home and change.

See, I had concert tickets to see O.A.R. and the Violent Femmes at the Tabernacle in Atlanta at 7:00 PM. I was supposed to go with my friend Anna, yet she was flying in from a wedding in Vermont. Her flight got cancelled and I couldn’t find anyone to fill in on such short notice. Most people said they would have gone had the weather not been as bad as it was. Lame… So I went to the concert by myself anyways. While driving down to the show I stopped to buy some Sparks to drink before the show. However, it was Sunday and the Georgia Blue Laws prevented me from buying any alcohol from stores. This got me thinking about how archaic Blue Laws really are. See in Georgia, you can buy alcohol at any event or restaurant on Sundays, yet you can’t buy cases of it at a store. Blue Laws were originally designed to prevent people from getting drunk on the Lords day, yet people can still go get drunk at a restaurant. To me it just seems like a dumb law that’s time has come and gone.

All right, back on course from that digression. I went to the concert, which rocked. I forgot how great of a show O.A.R. puts on. They played all their big hits from their new album, as well as, their hits from older albums. They covered U2’s Bloody Sunday and closed the encore with a 25 minutes version of Crazy Game of Poker. It was unbelievable and I enjoyed every second of the show. I also got drunk, so the Blue Laws really didn’t serve their purpose… and I meet a girl I gave my number to… and I saw a guy from high school named Howie… and Violent Femmes played Blister in the Sun… and that’s about it…

Oh yeah, and how could I forget, I love you Myria!

Realizations

2005-12-02T21:51:00.000-08:00

So here is two realizations I have had as of late:

1. Anybody that tells you they love you is lying; and,

2. This is going to be the first New Years Eve since 1999 that I have not had someone to kiss at midnight....

sigh...

Happy B-Lated Thanksgiving

2005-11-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

So another Thanksgiving has come and gone. Hard to believe... In the past when I blogged I would write an entry listing the top ten things I am thankful for. This year I chose not follow this writing tradition because the only things I could come up with were family, friends, and health. Don’t get me wrong, I am eternally thankful for all three but it doesn’t make for a good read. So that entry was never written. Instead, I have decided to just give a brief rundown of my Thanksgiving Weekend.

Wednesday: Partook in the biggest bar night of the year with my friends from out of town who traditionally return to Gainesville for the day. It was hella fun and it always amazes me when the bars in Gainesville are packed like a real city. I saw a lot of people I went to High School with, most of whom have gained weight. On that note, lots of this people told me that I look amazing with the amount of weight I have lost. After leaving the bars at last call, we returned to my home and drank some more. I drank half a bottle of SoCo by myself, which I would later regret.

Thursday: I spent the morning fighting a hell of a hangover. I ended up getting lectured from my Mom after I vomited in the bathroom. Luckily by dinner time the hangover was gone and I got to enjoy the traditional Thanksgiving meal. After the meal, my friends from out of town came back to my house and we played trivial pursuit. Good times.

Friday: Played football and I got to see how out of shape everyone was. I was in the best shape of my old friends, which really didn’t say much. It was fun to burn some people I have never been able to outrun before. I got tackled a few times with one hurt my lower back. All and all it was a fun time.

Saturday: The highlight of this day was getting to spend sometime with my favorite Jewish American Princess for half of the Georgia vs. Georgia Tech game. It was really nice to see Betty, with the only regret being that we didn’t get to go drink at a bar. Anyways, Georgia won, which is always upsetting.

So that was my week/weekend. A lot of the three things I was thankful for: Family, Friends, and Health (?).

Till Next Time, Rock On Kiddies!

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

2005-11-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

I went to Knoxville this weekend in order to have some Tennessee Bar papers filled out by the law school and to attend the UT/Vandy Game. As you may already know by now, Tennessee lost the game. The weekend was full of life lessons, some of which I will share with you:

1. Having good friends is great thing. I enjoyed the hospitality of Joe and Addie. They are really good friends who would go to bat for me no matter what. They really live by the Spanish saying of “Mi Casa, Su Casa.” So I am very thankful that I know them.
2. Being used is never a great thing. So I thought I would give Holly a call while in Knoxville, possibly hang out with her. She informed me that she was just to busy to see me and that maybe she would have more time the next time I come. This was in complete role reversal from everything she typed to me online. Then it became abundantly clear that she had just been using me to hurt her ex-boyfriend Cory. Now that she was done with me, she has moved onto another guy. I guess I will never understand women because they are all so crazy. Which leads me to my next life lesson:
3. Never trust a girl. They are all crazy psycho bitches. Plain and simple. They don’t care about you and you shouldn’t care about them.
4. Listen to God. Vandy beat UT and I have no one to blame but myself. God said get the low tops, I got the high tops. I should have listened to him.
5. “Do good things and good things will happen to you. It’s called Karma!” Just like in My Name is Earl, this proved to be true. I went Jimmy Johns on the strip at about 2 AM. While inside, I discovered that you could buy just a loaf of bread for 49 cents. What a deal, right? So I bought a loaf and ate it as we walked to Cool Beans. I had half a loaf left and the bouncer at the door said “Man that bread smells so good.” I replied “I am done with it, here you can have the rest.” Then we entered and got some pitchers. About thirty minutes later, the bouncer found me and got shots of Jose on the house for the entire group I was with just because I was nice enough to give him a half eaten loaf of bread.
6. Disappointing, Underachieving, Depressing, and Unable to Score. The theme of my life, and coincidently, the theme of Tennessee Volunteers football team this year.

That’s it for now. Till next time, Rock On Kiddies!

God Didn't Make No Fool!

2005-11-16T15:25:00.000-08:00

I know this is going to be hard to believe, but God spoke to me last night in a dream. Now I am not protesting or claiming to be a prophet or anything like that, but we had a pleasant conversation that went a little something like this:

Matt: Sup God.
God: Not much Matt, sup with you?
Matt: Nothing really. Just having a pretty sweet dream where I have sex with two girls.
God: That one again?
Matt: Yeah, I shoulda figured you would know.
God: Shoulda, woulda , coulda don’t count for anything. Besides don’t you think it is time to get a real girlfriend?
Matt: I know, but I just don’t have time. Remember I didn’t pass the bar. (cough cough)
God: There was a point to that, but I can’t tell you what just yet.
Matt: Always a point… So if this isn’t about the bar God, why the interruption? Because at this point the two girls have probably left and I won’t be able to get back to that point in the dream.
God: Of course there is. I have an important task for you.
Matt: For me?!? Please, go on…
God: Well as you know, UT isn’t having a great football year. I am a little depressed with the way the Volunteers have played.
Matt: Join the club, but at least we got rid of Randy Sanders.
God: About time Phil did something right. I have been sending him signs for years to dump him.
Matt: Please, can we focus you have something for me to do.
God: Oh sorry.
Matt: Not a big deal, you are God remember.
God: NO, I FORGOT!
Matt: I am surprised by the sarcastic humor…
God: Look at the world, why are you shocked by it? Anyways, back on point. I have some bad news, the Vols may loss to Vandy this weekend?
Matt: Really! Why? I am going to the game! That sucks…
God: I know, but there is some good news.
Matt: What you just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico?
God: (un-amused stare) That was funny the first time Chad Johnson said it. And believe me Matt, I know Chad Johnson and you sir are no Chad Johnson.
Matt: Okay, sorry God.
God: Okay, you mission is to go out and buy an orange pair of low cut Chuck Taylor’s to wear to the game. Only then will the Vols have enough strength and spirit to win on Saturday.
Matt: You’re kidding right?
God: Nope serious as a heart attack. And if you don’t get those shoes, you may have one before the age of 30.
Matt: Got it, okay, so where do I go to get them.
God: I can’t tell you, but if you care about UT you will find a pair.

Then the dream was over, I awoke. So now I am on a mission, a Holy Crusade if you will to find a pair of men’s size 11 ½ orange low cut Chuck Taylor’s for Saturday. I need help, so if anyone can direct me where to find a pair, please e-mail me.

UPDATE: At 4:50 PM I went to the Mall of Georgia to look for the shoes. I went to DSW, FootLocker, and Hot Topic searching for the shoes. None had them. However, Hot Topic told me to try a store called Journey. So I headed down the mall to Journey. Inside the store, the sales associate told me that they had one pair of Orange All-Stars. They are the high tops, and were 50% off. So I got them and now UT will hopefully win.

So We Meet Again Mr. Conviser…

2005-11-15T20:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I began the heart-breaking task of studying for the Bar… Again… I won’t lie, it was hard to start all over again. I decided my course of action would be to go over the outlines I have prepared for each subject and the outlines provided by BarBri in the Conviser Mini-Review Outline Book. (Don’t let the name fool you because there is nothing Mini about the way Mr. Conviser has decided to outline the subjects.) I decided that retaking the BarBri lecture courses or the PMBR review courses would just be a waste of time and money since I have heard it all before. So this time around, I will forge ahead on my own.

There I was, in the library with my books in front of me. The name Conviser staring up at me and laughing in a deep sinister laugh. The type of laugh associated with a James Bond villain. Like Bond, I had decided to face the music with a cool calm attitude and hope that in February I will get the best of my arch-nemesis. So I started with ConLaw (Constitutional Law), which I studied for four hours yesterday and today. I figured ConLaw has always been my specialty, which will help me ease back into the studying routine. I must admit it was very tough. My mind wouldn’t focus and I kept coming back to the thought that it was one point, one stupid question on the MBE that has lead me to this familiar hell. But like Bond, I must shake it off and hope for the best. Bond would not allow himself to get hungup on the fact that it was just one point and neither should I. Anyways, I have four months of studying in store for me and dwelling on past failures won’t help me get over that one point hump. So I will buckle down and enjoy the ride.

Till next time, Rock On Kiddies!

But There’s Beauty in the Breakdown

2005-11-11T13:32:00.000-08:00

So it finally happened yesterday, I was pushed over the edge. The depression that I had been feeling and holding inside all came pouring out. I cried for what seemed like forever, but in reality it was more like only two hours. Here’s how it happened: I was sitting at home listening to the new O.A.R. CD, Stories of a Stranger. It got to track seven, a song entitled Nasim Joon. While listening to the song (which by the way is rather cheery and nice), I got an e-mail from a girl I dated for about a year ago telling me how I ruined her life. Now there is no question that this girl was insane when I dated her, which led to me breaking it off with her after only about four dates. Still, the e-mail pushed me over the edge. It was the straw that broke the proverbial camels back. On top of living at home at twenty-six, no job, failing the bar, and Holly, the e-mail pushed me right over the edge. I started to cry and couldn’t stop. It was a total breakdown, which was only ended sometime about one in the morning after Holly calmed me down. (Yes Emily, if you are reading this I want you to know that I am well aware of the fact that she shouldn’t be the one I turn to calm me down, but she did help. For that I am grateful.) Anyways, while running today I realized that last night was my bottom. I needed it in order to rise from my funk and get back into reality. Once you hit the bottom of the valley, you have no place left to go but up.

An Observation

2005-11-09T13:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, so let me first start by declaring that I am in no way a racist. You maybe thinking to yourself, “Sure Matt, you must be a racist if you start a blog entry by a declaration of not being a racist.” You might be right, because why must I declare something I am not? Humm… I guess a discussion for another blog entry at a later date. Let me continue…

So today I go to Starbucks to read from Al Franken’s book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right (a book I strongly suggest that everyone read). As I was reading, this very cute girl of Asian decent in a very short skirt sits down at the table across from me. I smile, she smiles back, and then she proceeds to ask me in the most southern of southern accents, “Watcha reading there?” Holding back my internal laughter, I reply and begin a rather quaint ten-minute conversation with her about the book. It was a good conversation with some Fox bashing, but I kept wanting to laugh at her thick Southern Belle accent. Eventually her wannabe Abercrombie model boyfriend joined her and the two carried on their own conversation. However, every time she talked, I wanted to laugh at her. This got me to thinking, why should her accent amuse me so much? I don’t want to laugh when I hear a white person with a southern accent. I don’t want to laugh when I hear a black person with a southern accent. Hell, I don’t even want to laugh when I hear a Latino with a southern accent. However, there is just something about a person of Asian decent with a southern accent that makes me want to laugh at them. I believe it has something to do with the fear of the unknown or the fact that it is so contradictory of the stereotype of a person with a deep southern accent. Anyways, it just shows that even I am susceptible to preconceived notions and stereotypes.

Excitement

2005-11-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

So post number two will be short. Currently, as you can tell by yesterdays post, my life sucks. I am bored and depressed out of my mind. Depressed because I failed the bar, I have no job, and I am madly in love with a girl who lives two hundred miles from me. To top that off, she either:

(a) Does not love me back
(b) Cannot love me back
(c) a and b.

You choose how to end that last sentence. Life sucks. I need some excitement in my life...

Howdy World, nice to meet ya! I’m Matt!

2005-11-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

Well as you can tell by the introductory line, my name is Matt. I am an unemployed twenty-six year old who lives at home with his parents. Exciting, right? Want to know more about this incredibly lame loser? Or have you already gone onto another blog by this point?

First, let me explain why I am a twenty-six year old living at home. When I left the nest nearly seven years ago to attended college at Georgia State University, I never envisioned that I would later return at some point to live. However, being unemployed after graduated school, I was left with no choice but to go where the rent and food were free. So after graduating Law School from the University of Tennessee in May, I returned home Georgia to live with my parents while studying for the Georgia Bar and looking for a job. This stay was supposed to be temporary and I planned on moving out just as soon as I found a job. However, less then two weeks ago, I got the unfortunate news that I had failed the Bar by one point. I received a 269 on an exam that requires a 270 to pass. Frustrating…. This has left me with zero job prospects and hundreds of letters stating that if I somehow pass the Bar in February, contact them then. Needless to say I am now in a state of limbo where I can’t get a job as an attorney till after I retake the Bar, so I am still stuck here with my parents unless I go ahead and get a job outside the legal field. Frustrating…

Second, why blog now? Well this is a good question with the answer being boredom. Since I have no job, no prospects for employment, and I am living at home, why not just tell the whole world about it. Blogging will give me a chance to vent and allow me to use my under-appreciated literacy skills. I used to have a Blog about a year ago, but that one became the source of way too much drama in my life. So this time around I will be careful and censor what I write about and whom I write about.

Anyways, if you care to read this blog you can expect posts on politics, sports, and the people I love. I lead a rather mundane life, but occasionally interesting stuff does happen to me. So it might be worth stopping by every once and a while.
Till next time, Rock On Kiddies!